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I'm told that the matchmaking has really been refined too, and there's even an elegant solution to punish rage quitters frequent disconnectors are paired with other frequent disconnectors

Then, generate a 2/2 Zombie token from Bridge from Below's effect

Legendary Snow Creature - Warrior Troll Ramp (CTRL to add secondary) Recursion One Last Job Spree (Choose one or more additional costs.) + Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield

Maybe it is better to still give them a booklet handout and have the card text just be an extremely abbreviated version that just tells them the basic outline and conditions